HOW TO HELP ENCOURAGE ENTHUSIASM AS YOUR CHILD PREPARES TO RETURN TO SCHOOL by Sarah Weller from The Weller Way*
One of the ways to encourage enthusiasm for school is to help children set their own educational goals.
It’s common that teachers set targets for each child, but have you thought about empowering your child to set their own goals? Here are some ideas to make a PACT with them. The idea of PACT was originally conceived by Cecelia and Jason Hilkey, founders of the parenting support group Happy Families.
1 P: Purpose – “What are your goals for school this year?” (or “What do you really want to
NOT happen?”) Some children have goals; other children are more motivated by things that they don’t want to happen. Some children have both. Start with whatever is the most motivating for your child. Keep in mind that your child’s goal might not be about grades. They could have a goal about something else, like just attending school, feeling safe and comfortable at school, making one new friend, learning about a specific topic, playing in a musical group, or being on a sports team, etc. Following your child’s passions is the best way to tap into their natural motivation, which ultimately will likely help them to get good grades too.
2. A: Action – “What is your plan to meet that goal?” (or “How will you know if you are on
track?”) It’s great for our kids to set goals and achieve them. And I’d argue that just as much learning and self-awareness can occur from making plans and tweaking them along the way. Check-in with your child to give them a chance to see if their goals are still realistic, still relevant, or if they need more support to accomplish what they want.
3. C: Contribution – “What things can I do that are helpful?” (or “What things do I do that are
not helpful?”) It probably happens to all of us at some point, we’ve had someone try to help us, but they made things worse. Instead, find out how they want you to help, ideally ahead of the school year. Follow-up questions could sound like…
What are the least annoying ways for me to remind you about X?
4. T: Teamwork – “I’ve noticed that you [state your observation here]. How can I help?”
This is a nice question to use when your child is struggling. Making an observation about what you see is a less confrontational way to start the conversation, so your child is less likely to be on the defensive. For example, you can say, “I’ve noticed that you are late for school sometimes.” “I’ve noticed that you don’t finish your homework sometimes.” “I’ve noticed that it’s hard for you to get out of bed in the morning sometimes.”
The lovely thing about PACT is that it encompasses the core 3 C’s of parenting, which are Connection, Communication, Collaboration, and tap into our child’s natural desire for autonomy and motivation.
After reading the blog today, if you’d like to explore parenting support from Sarah, you can find her at The Weller Way
*Sarah is a Trained Facilitator for Circle of Security, the early intervention programme for parents and children
Author: Helen Loder
Co-Director of Sevenoaks Mums