When a marriage is in trouble, the New Year is often a time when couples may decide to separate. With a feeling of a new start on the horizon and the opportunity to contemplate the future, this time of year seems to provide spouses with courage to make what would otherwise be regarded as unimaginable decisions about their marriage.
So, what do you need to think about if you are considering divorce or formal separation in the New Year? Rebecca Massam family law expert at Warners Solicitors in Sevenoaks explains the key things you need to bear in mind.
First, and most importantly, acknowledging that there is a problem and speaking with a solicitor to find out about your options does not mean that divorce is inevitable. Arming yourself with as much information about what the future might look like in various scenarios can help you to better consider what is best for you and your family.
Communication is absolutely key. It is inevitable that you and your spouse will be feeling hurt by the acknowledgment and discussion about marital problems, but if you can keep talking to each other you stand a far better chance of either being able to reconcile or, being able to resolve matters in a way that will not devastate the whole family.
You will each have many questions if you chose to separate, such as: What will happen with the children? Where will we live? What will happen to the house? Will we be able to manage financially?
When meeting your solicitor for the first time, they will be able to help you explore the options and reassure you about these issues.
Warner’s family lawyers will also advise you about all methods available to you and your spouse to help you resolve matters, without the need to go to court. These include mediation or collaborative law:
Mediation
A mediator is an independent person who will assist you and your spouse in directly negotiating a settlement together. This can be in relation to finances or arrangements for your children. Mediators do not give legal advice, which you would be encouraged to receive from your respective solicitors as the mediation process goes along, but that can provide information to help you to reach an agreement.
Collaborative law
Specialist Collaborative Lawyers are trained to help you and your spouse participate in a series of meetings. Legal advice is given at those meetings to each of you, whilst you work together as a team with your collaborative lawyers to find a solution to your financial situation and make arrangements for the children.
The advantage of both these options is that you retain control over the outcome. These processes are flexible and bespoke allowing you to discuss and resolve matters in a way that suits you, rather than at the hands of a Judge in the Court arena.
Sometimes it may not be possible to agree matters and the above options might not be suitable for your circumstances. In that instance, Warners has lawyers who can assist you with the more traditional approach, which can still be done on a voluntary basis without the need to go to court. The Family Lawyers at Warners are all members of Resolution, a professional body of lawyers who promote a non-confrontational and conciliatory approach to matrimonial matters wherever they can.
If you require advice on family breakdown, even if it is a quick chat on the telephone, please feel free to contact one of our specialist lawyers by calling 01732 747 900 or emailing us family@warners-solicitors.co.uk We offer FREE initial advice for Sevenoaks Mum’s readers, terms apply, call Rebecca Massam for details.
The contents of this article are for the purposes of general awareness only. They do not purport to constitute legal or professional advice. The law may have changed since this article was published. Readers should not act on the basis of the information included and should take appropriate professional advice upon their own particular circumstances.
Author: Helen Loder
Co-Director of Sevenoaks Mums