At this time of year when the air is cold and crisp and frost carpets the ground like glittering diamonds, our minds turn to love. To wine and roses and holding hands. What doesn’t come to mind is forgiveness. This is something that is rarely talked about in our culture, and when it is more often thought of as ‘letting off’ the person being forgiven. Forgiveness may be seen as an act of sacrifice, or even something that only saints can manage!
But here’s the thing – it takes a lot of energy to hold on to pain or anger or hurt. It can drain your energy, and it is often at this point that clients come to see me saying that they are always tired. It may even manifest as dis-ease in the body for some people. Even if it doesn’t – that’s energy that you could be using for something else in your life, maybe something that is fun or nurturing. Something that would make your life better.
Life is a bit of a rollercoaster and we’ve all been hurt at some point. To be honest I wouldn’t have it any other way. The sharpness of pain and loss reminds us to savour the good times. It reminds us to enjoy walking along a beach on a summers day. In the same way that the icy cold of winter reminds us to get out doors when spring comes and enjoy the gentle sunshine and shoots of new growth.
When we are hurt we can choose whether we hold on to that pain or whether we allow ourselves to let it go. Forgiveness does not mean that it was OK to treat you that way or that an act was OK. Nor does not mean that you are a doormat and that people can treat you however they wish and you will say ‘that’s OK, don’t worry about it’. What it does mean is that you choose to release the pain of that event – to no longer hold that pain and anger within you. This is an act that can take great courage but it has such an amazing, healing, freeing effect. Forgiveness allows people to move past something that was keeping them stuck, and get on with their lives. It gives us back our energy, zest and joy and that is why it is the ultimate act of self love.
Sandra is a gifted and sought after healer and she specialises in helping women that are feeling burnt out. www.naturalvitality.surf